Shana’s Mindless Mumbling

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5

Dec

Cool site for sports moms and dads, kids

Posted by Shana  Published in Hallelujah (or not), I rock., My kids, Obsessions, Working like a dawg

If you’re looking for a christmas gift for a sports mom or dad, or for someone who loves softball, this is a great link. There are designs for football dads, basketball moms, and lots of different youth sports. You can get t-shirts, bags, stickers, buttons, magnets, license plate frames, water bottles, calendars, cards, and lots of other cool stuff. Check it out:

http://www.cafepress.com/sportygifts

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13

Dec

15 Nights Before Christmas

Posted by Shana  Published in Hallelujah (or not), I don't do Windows™, I rock., Idiotic musings, Julie, Mommy observations, My Man, My kids, Photos, Tweets!, Working like a dawg

‘Twas 15 nights before Christmas, when all through the orchard

“snow might fall from the sky,” was the rumor most heard;

“It’s not going to happen as long as I’m there”

Said the party-pooper brainiac without any hair.

The customers all left with knowledge in their heads

While visions of dock icons danced in their heads

And Jaqui with her webmail and I with my bubble wrap

Had just settled down for a quick breaktime nap.

When at the back door there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter

Away to the back door I flew like a flash

Mama D tore open the shutters and threw up the sash

The students were back for their bushel of apples

and I yelled something you’d never say sitting in chapel

“Holy shit,” I said loudly with my eyes all aglow

“What the eff is this crap, is this actually snow?”

The little old driver, so lively and quick

Drove off with their fruit and I ran in real quick

More rapid than eagles my coworkers they came

they said, “Is that dandruff on your shoulder or are you insane?”

“Now Jaqui! Now, Diana! Now Adam and Hector!

I have no scalp condition, get me a lie detector!

I’m out of this place! My children, I must call!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

You know what they say about years hurricanes hit

Who knew you could really believe in that shit?

So out to the parking lot so fast I flew

With my laptop and keys and my iPhone, too.

As I reached the mall exit, that’s when I knew

Emo kids were all jumping around and yelling, “WOO HOO!!”

As I pulled out my iPhone and drew a face on my car

I realized that this was really quite bizarre

I opened the door and jumped in the front seat

I pulled out my phone and posted a tweet!

I backed out of the lot and called the old man

to ask if the snowing at home had began

He did not believe me, I said, “check your twitter”

He said I was crazy. I think he was bitter.

I drove home on the freeway, 10 car lengths behind that Lexus

You know, people can’t drive in snow down in Texas.

Some snow stayed on my car throughout that long trip

So I showed it to Johnny and called him a dip.

The kids jumped for joy, as jolly as elves

And they all wondered if they’d get to see it themselves.

We waited for hours, bedtime drew near

When was the snow going to make it down here?

I spoke not a word while the kids went berserk

and finally at 9, we got quite a perk!

Look mom, here it is! It’s not rain, yes I mean it.

Come out and take a picture of me trying to eat it!

I threw on my slippers and because I’m a giver

I took lots of pictures all in between shivers.

Snow was falling from the sky, it was quite a little flurry

And I was so flippin cold all my pictures were blurry!

Daddy came out and griped, “you will all end up sick!”

I said, “come on now Johnny, quit being a dick.”

The kids settled in for a long winter’s nap

But they wanted snow, not that bedtime crap!

We said it would be there tomorrow if it snowed in the night

Now go to bed before you get grounded, all right?

While visions of iPods danced in their heads,

I tricked silly Johnny and jumped out of bed.

Away to the front yard I flew like a flash

Grabbed my camera and PJs and looked like white trash

Down the sidewalk, snap snap!

to the street, snap snap snap!

Brought my camera to Johnny and said “Look at this crap!”

He finally believed me, but looked at me funny

and asked, “did you check on the kids or were you lying to me, honey?”

Lying’s such a harsh word, I was simply distracted.

I saw lots of white stuff and over reacted.

I heard him exclaim as I uploaded photos to my site,

“Merry Christmas, Shana Rae! Tell your bitches good night!”

3 comments

8

Nov

I-yI-yI

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, Julie, Mommy observations, My Man, My kids, Nana, Obsessions, Photos, Politically Incorrect, Uncategorized, Working like a dawg

I am:

a Trainer

a Trainer


I think:

that I was drunk when I took this picture

that I was drunk when I took this picture

I have:

cheap sunglasses

cheap sunglasses

I dislike:

The bitch driving this white truck

The bitch driving this white truck

I miss:

My favorite uncle

My favorite uncle

I fear:

Public speaking!

Public speaking!

I feel:

Lucky

Lucky

I hear:

iTunes

iTunes

I smell:

Sex and candy :o)

Sex and candy :o)

I crave:

some yummy ribs

some yummy ribs

I cry:

Happy, blue tears

Happy, blue tears

I usually:

Drive people around

Drive people around

I search:

iGoogle

iGoogle

I wonder:

About the sanity of my children

I regret:

Ever calling Comcast

Ever calling Comcast

I wish:

my friends could stop fighting

my friends could stop fighting

I love:

My 3 stooges

My 3 stooges

I care:

about my grandma

about my grandma

I always:

find random pictures of shoes when I give Courtney the camera to play with

find random pictures of shoes when I give Courtney the camera to play with

I worry:

about when she starts driving

about when she starts driving

I am not:

welcome in the "man cave"

welcome in the "man cave"

I remember:

How much I loved this trip

How much I loved this trip

I believe:

that I can use some more junk in my trunk

that I can use some more junk in my trunk

I sing:

when I drive

when I drive

I don’t always:

I write:

In my blog

In my blog

I win:

these headphones

these headphones

I lose:

papers

papers

I listen:

to audiobooks on my phone

to audiobooks on my phone

I don’t understand:

why I was criticized for speaking up during the last 8 years, but it's apparently perfectly OK for those people who criticized to do it now

hypocrites

I can usually be found:

with my nose in my macbook pro

with my nose in my macbook pro

I need:

My kids

My kids

I forget:

Numbers!!

Numbers!!

I am happy:

that I finally finished this post!

that I finally finished this post!

3 comments

10

Oct

I’d like to thank the Academy

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Julie, Politically Incorrect, Uncategorized

My friend Erin gave me this bitchin award! It’s especially amazing because they spelled it with a K. K means Kwality in my book!

The blog award rules:
1. List 6 things about yourself and
2. Pass this award on to 6 other bloggers

Okay, so 6 nice and random things about me:
1. My first job when I was 15 was at D’s Kuntry Chicken and Katfish. After that, I worked at K-Mart. (Told you K’s were wonderful)

2. I am a total Apple geek. Anything Apple - I’m all over that.

3. I am agnostic. I just cannot wrap my head around the idea that there is just one religion and everyone who doesn’t believe in it will go to hell.

4. I sing like super-diva in the car on my way to work in the morning.

5. I play with my eyebrows when I’m nervous or concentrating too hard.

6. The thing I miss most about our old house - I left my Virgin Mary toast maker over there. :o(

So I guess I have to give this to someone now… since I know the same bloggers as Erin, some of these will be a repeat, but that’s how I roll, bitches!

1. Amanda

2. Laura

3. Dee

4. Cam

5. Angie

6. last, but not least, Emily, my BFF

1 comment

8

Oct

Excitement.

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Julie, My Man, My kids, Trouble

On my last weekday off, I was in an accident on my way to pick up Courtney from preschool. Usually Johnny or my dad pick her up.

Today I’m off again and going to pick her up. I was about 10 minutes early, so I sat in the car playing on my phone. She goes to a church school, so I was sitting in the church parking lot. A Bible Study group let out right in front of where I was parked. I don’t think any of them were under 65 yrs old.

This one man, about 300 lbs, stepped down onto the rocks and FELL right in front of my car!! Shocked He tried to get up, but he couldn’t muster up the strength or the breath to push himself up to his feet from the rocks that he was sitting on. All of the old ladies were doing this hoogaley boogaley foogaley and 2 of the older men tried to pull him up but he fell back down.

I opened up my driver’s door, pushed my way through the old ladies and said, “Outta my way!!”

I’m just kidding, but they WERE blocking my door. I really said, “excuse me”

I borrowed one of the old lady’s walkers and she leaned up against my car while we used it to help the guy up. We set it in front of him and me and one of the men pushed down on it so that it wouldn’t move, and the other man took the rear end. He was able to get back on his feet after 3 tries. I was wearing the worst shirt for this job… I’m sure I flashed all of the old ladies as I was leaning over and when the man finally got up, he looked down… then up… and said thank you. giggle!

I’m telling Johnny that he needs to pick up Courtney from now on. That’s WAAAAY too much excitement for me! Although, I am a little proud that we actually figured out a way to get him up. He walked away and seemed OK.

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26

Jul

Work in progress

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Julie, My Parents, My kids, Nana, Photos, Working like a dawg, migraines!!

Next week, we’re getting a little garage thing built in the new backyard and then we begin the official move!!

This weekend, I’m trying to get as much done at the house as possible, because I have some really fun plans with friends next weekend that I don’t want to miss!

So this is going to be my children’s bedroom in a week or two:

 

 

Cozy, huh? LOL

All of those cabinets and shelves were full of stuff this morning. Lots of stuff! My parents came over and helped me box it up and move it to the attic and the patio. It’s out of the way and I can go through it after we’re all moved in. Now I can start priming and painting the cabinets and shelves. Then we’re gonna paint the floor with that speckle stuff, close in the other door, put A/C in, make some kind of closet, etc etc etc… It’s gonna be pretty neat when it’s done. We’re going to have no use for our current couches and big screen TV, so we might put it in there. They are going to have the coolest room evah! Check out all of those plugs on the wall. I’m thinking computers & video games all the way down!! The downside is that they’ll all have to share the same room, but I’m trying to make it where they can have their own little spaces in there.

Mom and I also primed the outside wall. I can’t figure out what color to paint it. The original color of the house trim is faded so nothing’s really going to match. I’m going to have to paint it all the way around to make it the same color. I thought about a contrasting color for those walls, but there’s already some contrasting colors in other places and I can’t match that, either! UGH. Oh well. I love to paint. Maybe I can save that project for the fall when it’s cooler.

 

Before:

After:

1 comment

20

Jul

Still Alive!

Posted by Shana  Published in Hallelujah (or not), I rock., Julie, Mommy observations, Obsessions, Softball, migraines!!

That’s me:

Why are the things that I love so much probably going to be the things that kill me?

Today, I rode the scooter around the ‘hood on the wet streets and later on, I played ball (fastpitch). I’m still here after both of them!! 

I get overheaded and get some serious migraines from playing softball. I love to play, but my body doesn’t love me when I play. I signed up for another season, but told them I’d only be able to play the late games.

Tonight started out pretty good. On my first at bat, I hit it in the grass behind the second baseman, she overthrew it to first, and I ran to second. Double! Woo hoo! I can’t remember how I made it home - seems like I stole third and then went home on a hit. I also think it was the only run we made the entire game. Most of the game is a blur because after all of that base running, the blood left my head, I stopped sweating, and I got a little LOOPY!! 

Next time at bat (2 innings later because we weren’t doing too hot), I was just hoping my legs would take me all the way to first base. I had a serious case of noodle-legs! She pitched one low and waaaay inside and I barely jumped back in time to avoid it. I did the sign of the cross, a couple of hail Marys, got back in the box, and got to walk to first. Hell yeah! It’s still a blur - I think I got to second on a hit, and then tried to steal third after the catcher threw to first to try to pick her off. She got both of us, dammit! I felt like Snoopy when he does that thing where his legs move 90 mph, but he doesn’t go anywhere. 

I played second and nothing exciting happened out there other than me not making it fast enough to catch balls that I should have had. I also kept running behind the base when covering for some reason. I kept doing it even after I said outloud to myself, “in front of the base, stupid!” Ugh!!

I hate Texas heat. I am amazed that I didn’t get a migraine. I took the vicodin anyway, cause it’s just fun. I can kind of feel the throbbing breaking through every few minutes, so I’m glad I took it.

Anyways, I’m trying to ride the scooter every day now. As soon as I get more confident with turning I am going to take the trip all the way to work. I am doing really well, but I’m trying to be smart about this since I do have 3 children to think about. I haven’t been to highway speeds yet, but I’m much less scared of going fast and in a straight line than I am of loosing control in a turn. So more practice until I can do it without the white knuckles!!

I read some advice today that I LOVE:

“Fear of death doesn’t prevent you from dying… it prevents you from living.”

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26

Aug

I love it!

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, My kids, Obsessions, Softball

We friggin ROCKED tonight. whoop! So what, we lost… we’ve been losing most of our games lately because we can barely get our team to show up. But tonight we played the first place team and we only lost by 1 point.

I can finally hit it into the outfield (about half of the time now) and not straight to first friggin base!

I played second and made quite a few outs tonight, I didn’t do anything embarrassing, and the only error I made was when I dropped the ball when a bitch was sliding into me on second. I caught everything they hit to me, made a couple of outs on second, and a few throwing it to first. I even scored the first run.

GAWD I had fun!!!!!!!

You know the best part? Kristen went with me, and when we got home she told Nikki that I did a good job. wub

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23

Jul

We finally got to play ball!!

Posted by Shana  Published in Bitching, Hallelujah (or not), I rock., Softball

We play women’s ball on Sunday nights but the last 2 weeks have been rained out… and then our rain out was rained out. Rolling Eyes

We got to play yesterday and it was so much fun!! Except for the fact that it was so damn hot!!! The kind of hot where you can’t even think. I caught this ball that was headed over second base and got one out. I was standing right by second and could have touched the base to get a double and I just stood there looking at the ball like woo hoo!! giggle! That was pretty stupid. cheeky

So I made some outs, but I got thrown out at first every time I hit. Sad I got knocked down standing on second when a girl was sliding in, but I didn’t feel anything - I think I was kind of delirious. cheeky

We couldn’t score to save our lives, but we didn’t let them score, either. We tied 0-0

The second game was more fun because the sun went down and it wasn’t so hot. We SHOULD have won 7-2 but the ref called the game 10 min early because of lightning. It was still over the water, many miles away, and the ladies on the other 2 fields got to finish their games! I swear I think that fucker is blind. He is the worst ump. So now we have to play that game over or it will be called a tie because we were only in the 3rd inning. Grrrrrrrrr

Oh well - it was still lots of fun!!!

BTW, I found out that Peppermint oil is great to prevent overheating. It’s also good for migraines. You dilute it and just dab it on your skin a little bit and it makes your skin cool and tingly and actually cools you down. But tips: Do NOT put in on your temples if you are sweating unless you want to bind yourself, and don’t drop the $15 bottle on the ground and break it in the dugout. Although it kind of break the smell of 12 sweaty ladies. giggle! I got a bunch on my hand when I threw it out and my friggin hand was freezing cold.

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1

Jul

So Courtney’s playing with her toys and…

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Mommy observations, My kids, Photos

Saving Silverman is on TV. It’s the beginning where they show their band “Diamonds in the Rough” for the first time and they’re all dressed up in their Neil Diamond attire. Courtney says, “Mommy! That looks like you!” (Talking about Jason Biggs as Neil Diamond). We argued for a long time and she swears that he looks like me. I don’t know what I’m going to do with that child. Enjoy. My daughter thinks I look like this.

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7

May

Say hello to my new little friend

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, My kids, Photos, Trouble

Little shit - she had some pictures on her myspace that I told her to remove next time she logged on. She didn’t. Do you know what the little stinker did? She deleted me as a friend. Then she turned to me and said, “how come I’m not on your friend’s list anymore?” I said that I didnt’ know - I said that I was on earlier and she was my top friend so I couldn’t figure it out. She acted just as dumbstruck and said, “well I’ll request you again - make sure you add me.”

Well what she did was log into her OTHER account - her old one with the normal pictures - and added me using that one. Then she kept the old one up for everyone else with the pictures I didn’t like as her DEFAULT.

mad moon!

So I waited for her little arse to go to bed and I logged into her account. I deleted the pics myself, added myself, changed her default pic, and changed her username. giggle!

I’m considering changing her password so that she has to wait until tomorrow to switch it back and so all of her friends will get a chance to see it but I haven’t decided how mean I want to be yet. I am insane, but happy

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25

Apr

Look what I can do!

Posted by Shana  Published in Hallelujah (or not), I rock., My kids, Photos

I gave Kristen a haircut. Shocked

Before:

After:

It’s actually even on both sides - it’s just tucked under her collar there.

I was proud of myself, and honestly quite shocked. giggle! I thought I’d try it and then we’d run over to supercuts if I screwed it up but I actually did it. Go me! whoop!

And I cut Miss Thang’s bangs too, but I always do that:

Yeah, she’s in the yard in the daytime in her jammies ’cause that’s how we roll!

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5

Apr

Floorgasms and things

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Nana, Obsessions, Photos, Working like a dawg

Oh wow, I just can’t get motivated today.

We’ve been installing a tile floor in the kitchen since Saturday and I’m still obsessing about it. It was so much work - the concept was easy enough, but I just thought I would never get off of my hands and knees. Right now I feel like a hooker who just finished a week long “buy a hand job, bring a friend for free” special. OK, I feel how I THINK she would feel. HA HA My knees are scuffed up, my neck hurts, and my knuckes are sore from squeezing that damn sponge for 6 hours. When I finished last night, I stood up, every bone in my body popped, and I swear that I had a floorgasm when I realized I was finally finished!

All I want to do today is paint my cabinets. Second on that list would be to just sit in the entrance to the kitchen and stare at my beautiful floor all day long. LOL Does anyone else do that? Clean a room or redo something and find yourself going back a million times a day just to stare at it? Here, now I can come here and stare at it if I have to leave for some reason. he he:

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. That’s better.

I’m supposed to be doing some work before I run my grandma around and go to Kristen’s Easter party, so I guess I should do that. I just took some excedrin. Maybe the caffiene will motivate me to at least put some clean clothes on. Enjoy my floor while I’m gone.

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17

Mar

Protected: Softball Weekend

Posted by Shana  Published in Bitching, I rock., My kids, Nunya, Softball

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


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11

Nov

My Chemical Romance and other things

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, My Man, Obsessions

Boy, Conan O’Brian is one goofy mother fucker. He’s like David Letterman with ADHD and a mild case of Tourettes. I haven’t seen his show in a long time and for some reason I was drawn to it tonight. hmmmm, weird. :oP Yes, it’s the night that Green Day is on. I am becoming such a guitar nerd. I’m all excited because I can see his fingers and which chords he’s playing.

Johnny got 2 gift cards at work today for averting disaster yesterday. They put it it different terms than that, though. It was more like he was being “vigilant” in his work. He works in a place where they hold millions of gallons of chemicals, so vigilance is good. Personally, I consider it a good day if I finish at least half of my work, and don’t screw it up enough to cause it to be reprinted. I could never work with chemicals… it would be bad… very, very bad.

Anyway, I was telling you that because he called me up this afternoon and told me to be ready to shop when he got home! He gave me both of the gift cards ($125), watched the girls, and let me go buy whatever I wanted all by myself. The only restriction was that it had to be for ME. Is he a sweetie or what? I bought a little something that he could enjoy too. :oP

(Are you understanding the title now… chemicals, romance?)

I got a good reality bitch slapping in the dressing room. There’s nothing like a florescent light and a pair of pants your size that won’t button to boost a girl’s self esteem. It took every ounce of restraint not to go over to the vitamin isle in Wallyworld and buy a bottle of Fat b Gone. Tomorrow I’m loading up the kid’s scooters and the big stroller and going for a jog at the park… before my ass swallows this chair.

BTW, why doesn’t WalMart sell American Idiot?? Anybody know? They have every other Green Day CD. They don’t sell Jon Stewart’s book anymore, either (America, the Book). I heard that they pulled it when they realized that there are nekkid photos of supreme court justices in the centerfold.

I’ve had my America book in the bathroom for a couple of months now. On a good business day, I can read a whole chapter in there. Last week, Kristen decided to read it and found the nekkid page. It has all the supreme court justices with their heads are pasted on top of these ghastly old wrinkly bodies. On the page next to it, you can cut out their little robes and they have tabs like paper dolls. It is hilarous. Kristen thought that it was the best thing ever. She ran out of the bathroom holding the book in front of her open to that page and was running in circles around the living room, making this crazy noise, laughing and snorting, and I was chasing her down trying to get my book from her. Geez. Now I’m starting to see where Walmart was going with this. My book is now banned from the bathroom! It’s now here beside me with pieces of toilet paper marking the good parts.

The kids are alright….
The kids are alright….
The kids are alright….
(well I hope so - naked judges, quite a sight)
~The Who and Shana~
148 comments

6

Nov

Untitled

Posted by Shana  Published in Bitching, I rock., Idiotic musings, My kids, Obsessions, Trouble

If Steven can have an Untitled Rock Show, then I can have an untitled blog post, darnit!

I aaahhh-choo! NY:

Last night in the wee hours, I had the WORST sneezing attack that I’ve ever had. It was awful. When it was finally done, my eyes were red and swollen almost completely closed. I took a big ‘ol swig of Benadryl since there was no way I could measure a dosage in that condition. 5 minutes later, I was asleep.

I slept until 9:40 am! I remember waking briefly at 6:30 when Johnny came home, and I hope I didn’t tell him any of my deep, dark secrets.

What am I talking about? I don’t have any deep dark secrets. I’m so boring. I remember saying something to him, but I don’t remember what it was.

I dreamed that my whole family was on vacation in New York! It may have had something to do with the fact that I entered to win the old Daily Show couch, cash, and a trip to NY to see the show. That would be almost as good as winning the lottery! New York, Jon Stewart, cash, AND a normal looking couch?? I’m going to have to change my underwear just from typing that!

Anyway, in my dream, I was in a mall with the kids and my mom. I was supposed to be going to the doctor (perhaps the allergy doctor?), but I couldn’t find my shoes! So I was walking around this mall in NY with no shoes. I’m pretty sure the lady in the jewelry store took them. That bitch. Our hotel looked exactly like our house, only there was a ditch in the front yard, and it was filled with snow.

I’m pretty sure that the part about having no shoes comes from the fact that Nikki decided to wear mine to school the other day and put these crazy pink and white shoelaces in them, leaving my white ones at Nana’s house. I look like an 11 year old.

–

Bitch Rant:

As most of you know, the lady across the street ran over our mailbox this morning, sped off, and left it lying in the middle of the road. I heard it happen and I ran out there waving my arms and having a bitch fit all to myself. I contemplated many hateful revenges, but in the end, she fessed up and all is well. I can deal with most anything, as long as someone is being honest with me.

The revenges, in case you wanted to know:
Throwing the entire mailbox into the road where she parks that monster, throwing hams into her yard, telling the neighborhood brats that there is a bunch of candy in her van, filling her mailbox with shaving cream, building a concrete fortress around mine, duct taping dead fish to her muffler, smearing vasaline under her door handles, signing her up for record clubs, playing rock and country music louder than that crap that they blast at all hours… but those are just off of the top of my head.

–

For Your Dinnertime Reading Pleasure:

Somebody just TOTALLY farted in here. When I went to investigate (to make sure it wasn’t courtney), I ate ANOTHER piece of chocolate. Courtney picks her belly button so much that it’s irritated and turned inside out, so we have to put a bandaid on it, and there is a mysterious wet spot on the bathroom floor that I haven’t wiped up yet.

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It Ain’t over till the bloated lady plays:

I’m learning a non-Green Day song on the guitar. Nirvana’s In Bloom. It’s looking hopeful that this may be the second complete song that I will be able play. (The other one is Brain Stew) I can play a bunch of little parts of different songs, but I usually get stuck on something and give up on it.

I love this guitar so much!!

He’s the one who likes all the pretty songs.
And he likes to sing along.
And he likes to shoot his gun.
But he knows not what it mean.
1 comment

31

Oct

Press Release

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, My Man, My kids, Obsessions, Photos

October 31, 2005

For Immediate Release

Rock Star Billie Joe Armstrong spotted in Texas City

Rocker Billie Joe Armstrong of the pop / punk band Green Day was spotted Monday night in Texas City. He was accompanied by a young physician with multiple wounds, a purple fairy / flying purple people eater, Miss Texas (known by some as “Gabby with a hat”), and a young punk.

Mr. Armstrong visited several local houses with his strange entourage. People seemed very happy to see him and gave them candy and whatever other treats they had on hand. Several teen girls screamed and fainted while others pondered over the two bulges on his chest and were visibly creeped out by them. When asked to comment on the bulges, Billie told reporters that he is an occasional cross dresser and he simply forgot to remove some of his padded undergarments from earlier in the evening.

The young doctor was pale and covered in blood, apparently the result of a horrible hospital trauma involving a disgruntled patient. The purple fairy, who was once thought to be Billie’s magic fairy dust supplier, had a hand in bringing the good doctor back to life, at least for the night. Miss Texas (or “Gabby with a hat”), is a good friend of the purple fairy and visits her house often to use the fairy’s instant messenger.

The identity of the young punk toddler who accompanied Billie was unknown. It is rumored that the child in question is named Courtney Luv and is the product of a secret affair between Billie Joe and local graphic designer / aspiring guitar goddess Shana Rae. When asked for a comment on the child’s identity, or the relationship between Billie Joe and Shana Rae, both parties declined to make a statement.

Shana’s husband told reporters in a recent interview that he hates Green Day and once threatened to throw all of Shana’s CD’s of the band out of the car window. Was it jealousy that sparked this angry outburst? All parties declined to comment once again.

# # #

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King for a day, princess by dawn.
King for a day in a leather thong.
King for a day, princess by dawn.
Just wait ’til all the guys get a load of me.My daddy threw me in therapy.
He thinks I’m not a real man.
Who put the drag in the drag queen.
Don’t knock it until you tried it
1,507 comments

23

Oct

De ja vu, and WOO HOO!

Posted by Shana  Published in Bitching, I rock., My Man, Obsessions, Photos

Oh, Brad, Brad, Brad… you’re KILLING me! (Brad Lidge of the Astros, that is.) He did it AGAIN! Gave up a winning homerun in the 9th inning. SHIT!!!!!! After it happened in the playoffs, they came back and kicked serious bootie in the next game, so I’m expecting that again. You hear me, Astros??? Gosh Darnit, don’t make me get bitchy again!

My dear, sweet, husband lied to me today. He told me he was going to the flea market and left all by himself for hours and hours. That’s not where he went. Do you want to know where he went? Do you? Really?

He went to Houston and bought this for me from his brother:

(Note: all of the crap in the background is the corner where we throw Courtney’s toys. It started as 3 plastic bins and now it kind of has a life of it’s own. Sorry, I was too excited to photoshop. I’ve been photoshopping all day for work and I don’t even want to think about it!! So you get MESS! SHEESH, Amanda!)

I am in HEAVEN! Now I get to play all of those songs that sound silly on my acoustic. Like, “I’m the son of rage and love! The Jesus of Suburbia!” I can play that one good. Damn, good. (it’s really easy. lol)

I’m glad that I didn’t get mad at him when he walked in from his little trip!! LMAO

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8 comments

7

Oct

Rockin Out

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., My Man, My kids






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We went up to North Houston today to be there for the grand opening of my BIL’s new music store. It was great, and the girls had a blast playing all of the instruments. They have all kinds of instruments for sale and they offer lessons. They’re setting up a recording studio in the back. Man, I wish they were closer to us! I would sign us all up! Johnny’s brother is an awesome guitar player.

Courntney was CRAZY over the keyboard and the piano. She would start playing and nobody could TOUCH that keyboard while she was on it. I have a keyboard from back in the dark ages (the 80’s LOL), so I think I’m going to get it out for her to play with. She LOVED it.

I was playing Desperado on the piano, well really picking at it becuase it has been so long since I’ve played, and I could remember all but the very last chord! DOH! It was pretty frustrating.

I played the Barney song for Coutney and she sang along. She would keep running into the piano room to touch a key and sing, “I rov eew, eew rov me…”

Kristen was most interested in the drums. LOL. I told them that one of them should ask for drums for Christmas, then all we’d need would be a bass and we could be like the Partridge Family, only totally cooler.

Daddy said no.

Party pooper.

1 comment

28

Sep

Protected: Just doing my part

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, Nunya, Politically Incorrect, Trouble, Working like a dawg

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


2 comments

25

Aug

The Great Intro Player

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, Obsessions

So here’s what happens when a gal with a short attention span gets a hold of a guitar:

I can play:

The intro to Wake me up when september ends
The intro to some dixie chicks song
The intro to an Alan Jackson song (Drive)
The intro to about 5 other songs.

But i CAN play the entire song, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, minus a measure or two, but only because it’s the same 5 chords over and over again.

If I ever figure out how you go about “tuning down the guitar 1/4 step,” Then I can play Brain Stew (it’s only 4 chords LOL). Right now I can play Brain Stew out of tune! Woo hoo!!

Now there are just some chords out there where I’m thinking, it’s just not possible for a human set of fingers to get into a position like that.

I got a new sparkly belly button ring and a flat iron in the mail today.

And I’m going to cook some hamburgers after I read some blogs.

CAN IT GET ANY MORE EXCITING THAN THIS? I think not folks, I think not!

no comment

20

Aug

OMFG, Part Deux!

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Obsessions

I just got back from the GREEN DAY CONCERT!!!!

I’ve been to a LOT of concerts and this was BY FAR the BEST!! They put on an awesome show!!! The seats really weren’t that bad. It was really steep so you could even sit down and still see them if the people in front of you were standing.

I’ll write about it in the morning when my brain is working. I am so so so tired right now.

Amanda, I don’t know if you could really hear the song when I called you. I recorded some of them on my phone and the fast songs just sounded like static. It was so loud!

The kids loved it, I loved it…all I can say right now is WOW. Amazing!

1 comment

14

Aug

i AM being productive. Really

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Obsessions, Photos

I know I keep going on about this, but I thought that the last post didn’t really give you a good feel for where we’ll be sitting. This might help you out a little bit:

What could be better than THAT?? Perhaps THIS??


Oh, crap! I meant Jon with an H-ny!! JoHnNY!! Really!


Looks like trouble…I’d better be going now.

5 comments

13

Aug

I hope my nose doesn’t bleed!

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Obsessions, Photos

The Toyota Center has a thing on their website where you can see what the view is like from your seats. Here’s our view for the concert:

WOOOOAH!! Get some tissue ready in case your nose bleeds, then click here

The stage is supposed to be where the far basketball goal is in the photo. That’s FAR, but it’s dead center! I’ll have to bring my binoculars!

1 comment

13

Aug

Got em

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Obsessions, Photos

2 comments

12

Aug

The Brumlow Five

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Mommy observations, My kids, Photos

Uh oh. Momma broke out the guitar and is trying to play something that sounds like music. (Courtney calls my guitar “La la.” How cute is that?) The girls decided to write songs.

Here’s kristen’s song:

I’m a girl living in a whole different world
Searching and searching
True Destiny
For once I feel empty inside my heart
But you will never feel like me
It feels like you don’t even care
I just wish you had a heart
Then my life would be a lot easier
I do you just don’t see it in me
If that’s how you want to say it go ahead
But I still don’t believe you
It’s almost like you took my heart away through those years

Pretty deep for a 7 year old, huh??

Nikki says that she wrote a similiar song a while back and Kristen stole it from her! Now they’re fighting about it. But she was in the room all by herself and brought this out to me, all mispelled and everything. I think it’s great!

OK, here’s one of Nikki’s songs:

Hey Nikki!
What?
Can you do some favors for me today?
Whatever, OK.

So I clean the living room
at a quarter to 10
Now it’s 9:50
Time to do it again

Now it’s 10:00
Time for bed
Well not for me
As you can see
the house is a mess
Well as my mom says
But it’s clean to me

[Chorus:]
Not finished
are the 2 words
that are often
said to me

I have to clean the whole house
and make the tea

I’m not even getting paid a dime
for breaking my spine

It’s the next day
and I just got done
and it’s sparkling clean
and crashing through the kitchen
come my 2 sib-lings

and then i think
let me get the mop
and then i say
maybe they won’t do it today
so i stop

and turn around
sit down

turn on the tv
then i hear a big crash
courtney, that was moms fave glass vase
so i clean it again
walk away
and then i hear
(chorus)

I love that song!! LOL I made a deal with her, that I’d pay for her friend’s green day ticket if she did some chores for me. Now she thinks that the 30 minutes she spent cleaning is the hard-knock life or something!

Here is Courtney’s creative contribution for the night:
Courtney’s Masterpiece

4 comments

9

Aug

Just an observation

Posted by Shana  Published in I rock., Idiotic musings, Mommy observations

It hurts to bang your head like a rock star when you’re old. But babies really like that kind of thing.

3 comments

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