If you’re looking for a christmas gift for a sports mom or dad, or for someone who loves softball, this is a great link. There are designs for football dads, basketball moms, and lots of different youth sports. You can get t-shirts, bags, stickers, buttons, magnets, license plate frames, water bottles, calendars, cards, and lots of other cool stuff. Check it out:

http://www.cafepress.com/sportygifts

‘Twas 15 nights before Christmas, when all through the orchard

“snow might fall from the sky,” was the rumor most heard;

“It’s not going to happen as long as I’m there”

Said the party-pooper brainiac without any hair.

The customers all left with knowledge in their heads

While visions of dock icons danced in their heads

And Jaqui with her webmail and I with my bubble wrap

Had just settled down for a quick breaktime nap.

When at the back door there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter

Away to the back door I flew like a flash

Mama D tore open the shutters and threw up the sash

The students were back for their bushel of apples

and I yelled something you’d never say sitting in chapel

“Holy shit,” I said loudly with my eyes all aglow

“What the eff is this crap, is this actually snow?”

The little old driver, so lively and quick

Drove off with their fruit and I ran in real quick

More rapid than eagles my coworkers they came

they said, “Is that dandruff on your shoulder or are you insane?”

“Now Jaqui! Now, Diana! Now Adam and Hector!

I have no scalp condition, get me a lie detector!

I’m out of this place! My children, I must call!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

You know what they say about years hurricanes hit

Who knew you could really believe in that shit?

So out to the parking lot so fast I flew

With my laptop and keys and my iPhone, too.

As I reached the mall exit, that’s when I knew

Emo kids were all jumping around and yelling, “WOO HOO!!”

As I pulled out my iPhone and drew a face on my car

I realized that this was really quite bizarre

I opened the door and jumped in the front seat

I pulled out my phone and posted a tweet!

I backed out of the lot and called the old man

to ask if the snowing at home had began

He did not believe me, I said, “check your twitter”

He said I was crazy. I think he was bitter.

I drove home on the freeway, 10 car lengths behind that Lexus

You know, people can’t drive in snow down in Texas.

Some snow stayed on my car throughout that long trip

So I showed it to Johnny and called him a dip.

The kids jumped for joy, as jolly as elves

And they all wondered if they’d get to see it themselves.

We waited for hours, bedtime drew near

When was the snow going to make it down here?

I spoke not a word while the kids went berserk

and finally at 9, we got quite a perk!

Look mom, here it is! It’s not rain, yes I mean it.

Come out and take a picture of me trying to eat it!

I threw on my slippers and because I’m a giver

I took lots of pictures all in between shivers.

Snow was falling from the sky, it was quite a little flurry

And I was so flippin cold all my pictures were blurry!

Daddy came out and griped, “you will all end up sick!”

I said, “come on now Johnny, quit being a dick.”

The kids settled in for a long winter’s nap

But they wanted snow, not that bedtime crap!

We said it would be there tomorrow if it snowed in the night

Now go to bed before you get grounded, all right?

While visions of iPods danced in their heads,

I tricked silly Johnny and jumped out of bed.

Away to the front yard I flew like a flash

Grabbed my camera and PJs and looked like white trash

Down the sidewalk, snap snap!

to the street, snap snap snap!

Brought my camera to Johnny and said “Look at this crap!”

He finally believed me, but looked at me funny

and asked, “did you check on the kids or were you lying to me, honey?”

Lying’s such a harsh word, I was simply distracted.

I saw lots of white stuff and over reacted.

I heard him exclaim as I uploaded photos to my site,

“Merry Christmas, Shana Rae! Tell your bitches good night!”

Tomorrow we’re waking up bright and early to go back home! Good bye, San Antonio! I will NOT miss you, but I will miss all of our savings that we spent while we were there!

We’re not QUITE going home, though… we’ll be staying at my mom’s house, which is in Bacliff, about 10 miles away from our house. Somehow they have electricity, phone, water, sewer… I’m thinking maybe even internet because they have DSL. My brother says that they’re the only ones on the block who have power. Very strange!!

My brother lives in Oyster Creek and his house is a little jacked up, so he’ll be staying with mom until he gets it fixed. Then there’s his girlfriend, Nana, me, my 3 kids, Johnny, my parents… why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, because I can’t live in a hotel hundreds of miles away from home any longer. Unfortunately I am not independently wealthy just yet.

When I talked to Johnny a few hours ago, our house had no utilities to speak of. He’s running the freezer, fridge, a TV, and fan off of our generator. Yesterday there was no place to buy gas. Today something opened, but they were rationing it to $40 per person. So he’ll be there early tomorrow for another $40. I wish we knew how long the power would be out so we’d know if it’s cheaper to throw out all of the food (there’s a lot of it), or keep running that damn thing. Krogers had signs of life, but it wasn’t open today. They passed out water and ice at one time, but it went quick. So did the food that was shipped in.

I don’t think it will be too bad just being down the road. My car is packed with groceries and supplies. We should be able to make due with that until everything opens back up again. I just want to be home.

Here’s the Ike ‘o the day message from the city:

This is Texas City Emergency Management. We continue to show improvement with the water supply problem and anticipate to be up to 100 percent on the system by daybreak tomorrow. You should continue to conserve water overall and boil all drinking water.

Only a partial shipment of food and water was received today and was gone before we could use this system to notify you.

More is coming and we will have enough for everyone who needs these items shortly.
Stores are opening and food and other items are available in some places. Gas stations are opening up and some fast food places are open.

Texas-New Mexico is continuing to make progress on restoring electricity but several days or weeks are still a reasonable estimate until all are restored

We encourage you to be safe and to realize that a large amount of work is going into restoring all our lives to normal.

I should be able to keep updating, even if it is just from my phone. (That’s because my phone rocks.. yes indeed it does)

I stole this from Laura. She didn’t actually tag me, but it’s fun to pretend. LOL

20 years ago….
1. I was a sophomore in HS, I think
2. I lived in Dickinson, TX
3. I wanted to drive so badly!!

10 years ago….
1. I’d just had my second child
2. I decided that I’d rather do freelance work and be with my babies
3. I told myself that I’d definitely not have any more children!

5 years ago….
1. I was getting ready to give birth to my 3rd child! (so much for that last statement!)
2. Had no idea that my OB-GYN would want to arrange some freelance work while looking up from between my legs and asking about it as I was pushing. (akwaaard) LOL

3. Arranged for the tubal ligation before I left the hospital. :o)

3 years ago….
1. I was evacuating for Hurricane Rita
2. I was on the road with all 3 kids for 24 hours straight
3. I vowed I’d never evacuate again

1 year ago….
1. I was trying to get a job with Apple
2. I was pretty content with life, but working too hard for too little
3. I was about to get a great surprise the next month.

This year so far….
1. I love my job so much I don’t freelance anymore
2. I sent my baby to preschool
3. I moved to a new house, and with my grandma, so she won’t be alone anymore

Yesterday….
1. I went to work
2. I couldn’t stop watching the weather
3. I decided it would be stupid to stay home and risk my babies lives and made reservations to evacuate

Today….
1. I ran from Hurricane Ike
2. I understood completely how someone could commit a crime of passion, and go completely insane in a moments notice, as I stood in the lobby of the La Fucking Quinta and was told I had no reservation
3. I am thankful that my parents were here to save the day, and that Johnny is on his way here and out of harm’s way!

Tomorrow….
1. I’ll watch the weather constantly
2. I might take the kids to see the Alamo
3. I hope none of my friends at home get hurt.

Next year….
1. I will pay the home insurance another year and say fuck it if a storm comes. I’m gone.
2. I will cry when I put my baby on the bus for Kindergarten
3. I will cry when my oldest starts to drive!

I tag….
Whoevah! :o) I don’t think anyone reads anyway! LOL

That’s me:

Why are the things that I love so much probably going to be the things that kill me?

Today, I rode the scooter around the ‘hood on the wet streets and later on, I played ball (fastpitch). I’m still here after both of them!! 

I get overheaded and get some serious migraines from playing softball. I love to play, but my body doesn’t love me when I play. I signed up for another season, but told them I’d only be able to play the late games.

Tonight started out pretty good. On my first at bat, I hit it in the grass behind the second baseman, she overthrew it to first, and I ran to second. Double! Woo hoo! I can’t remember how I made it home - seems like I stole third and then went home on a hit. I also think it was the only run we made the entire game. Most of the game is a blur because after all of that base running, the blood left my head, I stopped sweating, and I got a little LOOPY!! 

Next time at bat (2 innings later because we weren’t doing too hot), I was just hoping my legs would take me all the way to first base. I had a serious case of noodle-legs! She pitched one low and waaaay inside and I barely jumped back in time to avoid it. I did the sign of the cross, a couple of hail Marys, got back in the box, and got to walk to first. Hell yeah! It’s still a blur - I think I got to second on a hit, and then tried to steal third after the catcher threw to first to try to pick her off. She got both of us, dammit! I felt like Snoopy when he does that thing where his legs move 90 mph, but he doesn’t go anywhere. 

I played second and nothing exciting happened out there other than me not making it fast enough to catch balls that I should have had. I also kept running behind the base when covering for some reason. I kept doing it even after I said outloud to myself, “in front of the base, stupid!” Ugh!!

I hate Texas heat. I am amazed that I didn’t get a migraine. I took the vicodin anyway, cause it’s just fun. I can kind of feel the throbbing breaking through every few minutes, so I’m glad I took it.

Anyways, I’m trying to ride the scooter every day now. As soon as I get more confident with turning I am going to take the trip all the way to work. I am doing really well, but I’m trying to be smart about this since I do have 3 children to think about. I haven’t been to highway speeds yet, but I’m much less scared of going fast and in a straight line than I am of loosing control in a turn. So more practice until I can do it without the white knuckles!!

I read some advice today that I LOVE:

“Fear of death doesn’t prevent you from dying… it prevents you from living.”

…or fly. I’m not sure which just yet. I tried one of each the other day. 

Johnny got me a motorcycle while I was working in California last week. We’d been talking about getting one for me so that I could learn to ride, too. I used to go nuts on this little dirt bike that he had when we first got together. I’d ride that thing for hours.

Cheryl got to try it out my new bike when I was still in California. Johnny and Doug (Cheryl’s husband) took it out to the soccer fields by my house. She rode it around for a little while, and then wrecked it into a parking hump. She was trying to stop and she hit the gas instead of the brake, couldn’t make the turn, and it fell on her leg. She got a bruise on her leg and bent something on the handlebar a little. 

My second day back home was my turn!! Same thing as Cheryl - Johnny and I were at the soccer fields by our house and I was going round and round. I got the hang of taking off, stopping, getting into second gear, etc. So Johnny says, “OK, see you at the house, and the shithead starts walking home!!” 

We’re only a couple of blocks from the house and I’m thinking, “I got this.” I waited for the street to clear completely in case I stalled out, drove down the street, turned the corner, and then panicked a little when I realized that I was going to have to drive it into the yard. The driveway was a much sharper turn than I’d taken so far. I make the turn, HORRAY!! I give it a little gas to get up the driveway, got ready to stop, and I did the SAME THING that Cheryl did - I gave it gas when I went to reach for the brake!!!

 Everything is in slow motion at this point. I’m barreling up the driveway, through the yard and either I’m going to hit the brick wall of the house, or I’m gonna hit Johnny’s shiny motorcycle sitting “safely” on the porch. Neither one sound fun. So at the last possible second, I hit the brakes… front and back… HARD!!! I have a full-face helmet, but I had the visor up so that I could hear what Johnny was saying to me. The bike comes to a complete stop, my chin hits the handlebars, the back tire slides sideways in the grass, and I lay the bike down in the yard just a foot away from the brick wall… on my foot!! Just like Cheryl!!! Only I’m thinking that mine was much more dramatic

Johnny came running up the street and got the bike off of me. I thought I’d either knocked out my teeth or broken my leg, but neither one, thank goodness. I just laid down in the middle of the front yard laughing at my stupid self, thankful to be alive. That probably would have hurt pretty badly if I’d have hit the house, and I think Johnny would have murdered me if I would have hit his bike. I’m bruised on my leg, the inside of my lip, my ego, and I got a boo boo on my thumb. I’m not sure when the next riding attempt will be. Johnny doesn’t seem nearly as excited as he was at first. Wonder why? LOL

Behold.

It will be mine today or tomorrow.You may ask yourself, “Why the hell does Shana need another computer?” That’s one of those questions like, “Why is there air?” or “Why is there life?” Well there just is, and Shana just does, OK?

I’ve wanted another laptop since I killed my last one with a glass of water about 6 years ago. I haven’t been brave enough to get one since that traumatic event. It was only recently that I was able to let go of the dead one and give it to a coworker and as soon as I did that, the following series of fortunate events occured one after the other:

Johnny reluctantly decided that Macs just might be a little superior.

He mentioned last year that he’d like to have a MacBook to take to work.

I am going to California in a few weeks for work (my REAL job LOL) and I want a way to talk to the kids every evening. I am going to miss them something terrible. We can have video chats through iChat if I bring my laptop.

I am handing off a HUGE freelance job to the printer the day before I leave and I just know that if I don’t have a way to work on it in CA that something horrible will go wrong with it and they’ll be stuck. That freelance job is paying for my new little toy.

I’m gonna “share” it with Johnny, which will be hard, I know. I’m going to go check the FedEx tracking thingey one more time before bed and get a little tingle. he he he he he he he he o o o o o o o o

Is my basketball goal divine? Do you see the face? I’m hoping that the Vatican doesn’t get a hold of this development. If people travel from all over the country to light a candle in my driveway, I’m probably going to have to clean. I’d surely have to throw out the RockBand box that’s been on the porch since Christmas. I’m just not ready for that kind of physical activity. 

Speaking of RockBand, daddy’s PS3 drowned in a tragic Coca-Cola accident this week. We’re still mourning. I can’t bear to move it from the coffee table. I keep plugging it in, hoping for a miracle. Maybe I should just light a candle and set it under the basketball goal!?! Hmmm…. gotta go…   

Edited on 1-27. The believers are starting to show up:



Edited about a week later: And the PS3 is now working! There’s something to this thing, I’m telling you!

We play women’s ball on Sunday nights but the last 2 weeks have been rained out… and then our rain out was rained out.

We got to play yesterday and it was so much fun!! Except for the fact that it was so damn hot!!! The kind of hot where you can’t even think. I caught this ball that was headed over second base and got one out. I was standing right by second and could have touched the base to get a double and I just stood there looking at the ball like woo hoo!! That was pretty stupid.

So I made some outs, but I got thrown out at first every time I hit. I got knocked down standing on second when a girl was sliding in, but I didn’t feel anything - I think I was kind of delirious.

We couldn’t score to save our lives, but we didn’t let them score, either. We tied 0-0

The second game was more fun because the sun went down and it wasn’t so hot. We SHOULD have won 7-2 but the ref called the game 10 min early because of lightning. It was still over the water, many miles away, and the ladies on the other 2 fields got to finish their games! I swear I think that fucker is blind. He is the worst ump. So now we have to play that game over or it will be called a tie because we were only in the 3rd inning. Grrrrrrrrr

Oh well - it was still lots of fun!!!

BTW, I found out that Peppermint oil is great to prevent overheating. It’s also good for migraines. You dilute it and just dab it on your skin a little bit and it makes your skin cool and tingly and actually cools you down. But tips: Do NOT put in on your temples if you are sweating unless you want to bind yourself, and don’t drop the $15 bottle on the ground and break it in the dugout. Although it kind of break the smell of 12 sweaty ladies. I got a bunch on my hand when I threw it out and my friggin hand was freezing cold.

I am so glad that all-stars is over after this weekend. I can’t take another day standing around in “feels like 300 degrees” heat.

They’re in a tournament this weekend and it’s the LAST ONE. They lost this afternoon and we have to go back at 8 am. That sucks but at least it’s still cool.

Is it bad that I’m hoping they’ll lose so we can go home after one game?

UPDATE:

They lost and they’re DONE! Wooooo hooooooooo!!!!

I mean… I’m so sad it’s over.

Seriously, nobody should be running around in an open field in the middle of the day when the temperature is in the 90s - that’s just nuts. It was a lot of fun otherwise, though. I think Cheryl will agree, although I think she enjoyed getting hosed down by the daddies when she was overheated. 

I gave Kristen a haircut.

Before:

After:

It’s actually even on both sides - it’s just tucked under her collar there.

I was proud of myself, and honestly quite shocked. I thought I’d try it and then we’d run over to supercuts if I screwed it up but I actually did it. Go me!

And I cut Miss Thang’s bangs too, but I always do that:

Yeah, she’s in the yard in the daytime in her jammies ’cause that’s how we roll!

I sat in my little curtained section of the ER for 2 or 3 hours the other night and I overheard some crazy stuff.

First, in the curtain next to me, there was an older lady and a teenager. Another guy would walk in and out. The old lady was calling everyone she knew on her cell phone to tell them that the girl was in there and it burned when she peed and the girl was saying, “Oh mah gawd, don’t tell him that - gimme that phone,” and everyone she called had names like Myrtle and Mildred and Otis - it sounded like something straight off of one of those morning radio parodies.

Anyway, she didnt’ want to pee in this cup and finally an hour into the visit she told them that she needed to come clean. She told them that she wasnt’ a virgin and that she’s had this burning problem since last year when she started having sex.

I was trying so hard not to laugh. The older lady was either her grandmother or her aunt, I couldn’t figure that out. I don’t know who the guy was but he didn’t say much. But there were lots of “oh lawrds” and “throwing it up to Gods” and “you ain’t wanting to hear what I’m sayin’s” She asked the lady, “well how old were you when you started, you know?” and there was more hallelujahs after she asked that. She said, “oh come on, you were probably what, 16? And you… I know you were like TEN weren’t you?” I wish Johnny would have been there with me to hear all that - it was so funny. He was at home with the girls.

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